Who do you want to be?

That is an interesting question that we must all ask ourselves.

I didn’t do well in my HSC and that set me up for the rest of my life.

When I was 17, I wanted to be a photographer, but a stint as a tradesman’s assistant in a fitters workshop changed my direction. Sure, I still wanted to be a photographer, but my family was all about engineering. It was 1982, unemployment was rampant, and interest rates were high. Finding a job wasn’t easy. I remember my dad doing dozens and dozens of letters for me, reading the Sydney Morning Herald for apprenticeships and sending the letters for me.

I ended up with an apprenticeship with State Rail as a fitter and machinist and photography took a back seat. Eventually, I sold my camera. I regretted this until my 50th Birthday.

After a period of time, I found that I was bored with engineering work and taught myself Information technology. buying and building computers, even running a bulletin board, and early forerunner of the internet so to speak. You could email messages and play games. We were interconnected with modems and had users and a network of like-minded people.

I moved into information technology as a career for a living.

Two divorces later I moved from Wollongong to Griffith where I worked in IT again. from analyst to manager and then National IT manager.

But I still yearned to photograph. My 50th birthday bought me an opportunity to buy a camera again, a little later on I had the chance to buy a full-frame (the same size as 35 film but with a digital sensor) camera.

I spend time taking landscapes and macros and now our house is adorned with photos that I have taken, Anna loves them.

Still, I feel that I have not fulfilled my potential. My heart yearns for photojournalism and documentary photography. I feel unfulfilled in that area. I will get there I know. You have to make a living and that is what I do. I don’t begrudge the overtime that I do as a forklift driver, and I do it well. But I need to take the next step.

I am 60 nearly years (who would have guessed, I still think like an 18-year-old) and I still have a desire to go to warzones and make a difference, tell the stories and show the world what is happening. Some of my favourite photographers are conflict photographers. Like Don McCullin (read about him here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Don_McCullin), W. Eugene Smith (read more about him here https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/W._Eugene_Smith), Lynsey Addario (read more about here https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lynsey_Addario), and of course, there are many more outstanding conflict photographers. I don’t know if I will get get that chance.

This is my dream and what puts me to sleep at night, am I too old, will I ever find out if I have the right stuff? I still feel good enough but time will tell. Or am I destined to live out my life without finding out?

Who do you want to be? Time will tell!!

Remember to LOVE LIFE!!